Yo party people. How’s it hangin’?
It’s that time again…when we all feel compelled to get our lives together, lose a million pounds, clear all the clutter, and then realize….that’s too much at one time so we give up on all of it.
It’s an odd thing to see once you choose not to subscribe to the notion that everything must be fixed right away. You watch people you love publicly disparage themselves in an effort to motivate themselves in the new year.
We know it never works. We do it anyway. Humans. What are we gonna do with ya?
Goals are not the problem. It’s great to want to work on personal or professional progress. It’s fantastic to want to be healthy and to work on our relationships.
The trick is how we go about setting these goals.
We make decisions based on one of two things: Love or fear. Sometimes it’s easy to see where we’re comin’ from. Other times, they can get jumbled and they can resemble each other.
Where are your goals coming from? Could it be that your goal is really fueled by fear disguised as love?
This past year, I resolved to remain more mindful and to work on a personal mindfulness practice. No other goals were set. As the year moved forward, I noticed that things I wanted to accomplish were getting easier. It became easier to choose nutritious foods or to get a workout in. It became easier to enjoy the tasks that sometimes seem menial and inconsequential. It became easier to deal with any sadness and anxiety that arose. I enjoyed my time more and it didn’t matter what I was doing. While I was definitely met with some challenges, I was happier than I thought possible. With that one practice, I was able to turn things around.
Here is my daily mindfulness practice (you’ve seen it before and you’ll see it again):
Take a mindful moment. 5 minutes to sit and be. Notice your surroundings, how your body feels. Take note. What do you smell? Hear? See? Feel? Does it bring up anxiety of all the things you have to do? Notice it and put it aside. You can be anxious in 5 minutes. Do you resist? Do you accept?
If you have a planner or a journal, write down the date and what it brought up for you.
Mindfulness makes everything easier. It’s the way forward.
While mindfulness remains my number one goal, I created other goals as well and wanted to share the process:
Step 1: Set an intention to create goals and take action out of love.
A lot of people make goals because they are afraid of something. Afraid of being fat, afraid of having heart troubles, afraid of financial problems….etc. If you’re having some of these fears, take a moment to flip the script and see your goals not only as things to be obtained but as things that will sooth your soul.Right now, everyone is worried about their weight. In the past, I have set health and fitness goals based on the fact that I thought I’d be more worthy if I weighed a certain amount. I thought that being a certain weight would make me happy. After stopping and taking a look around, I noticed that there are happy and miserable people out there of all shapes and sizes.
Misery loves company and it doesn’t care how big or small you are. The great thing is that happiness does too!If you have a fitness goal, create it from love. Love of your body, love of your family, love of the challenge. Create a health and fitness goal because you love your body and want to cherish it with kindness, nutrients, and loving movement.This works with every goal you’ll set. Financial, spiritual, professional, getting rid of clutter….all of it.
Step 2: Check in with the feelings that come up.
Ever had a desired outcome that just seemed way too out of reach or too difficult to achieve? Ever felt not good enough to get what you want? Ever quit working on your goals on January 3rd? Yeah, me too.It’s okay though, because we’re doing this a different way now. Choose to feel excited and ready to get going on your BIG goals. Write it all down or create a vision board. Once you have a visual, you can chunk down each goal into smaller, easily achievable actions. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
If you fee like it’s too big, sit with that for a minute. Figure out why you’re trying to talk yourself out of what you want. There’s a lot of valuable information in these moments.
Step 3: Meet your thoughts and feelings with love and understanding.
Thoughts and feelings will arise as you work through your goals. Meet them with love and understanding rather than using that information to punish yourself. It’s not helpful and it won’t move you toward your desired outcome.
Step 4: Revisit, rewrite, repeat.
Things change. Desires change. Feelings change. Goals aren’t a “set it and forget it!” scenario. Anyone remember Ron Popeil? He still around?
The most important part of all of this is that you create your ideal life. We can’t do that though if we’re stuck in the past, worried about the future, or too frozen with fear to take the necessary steps.
It all begins with mindfulness and these four steps. Plan your work and work your plan, as my mother would say. 🙂 A mindful plan is the best way to get to where you want to be.
This approach gives you the opportunity to create meaningful and achievable goals in the coming year.
Let me know how it goes!